I really tried

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I really tried

by emja69 ^Pro @ 2009-11-14 – 20:21:34

I really tried to be positive, to find something positive, to read something positive, to find the true me.

I can't do it. Sorry. I'm not strong enough anymore to fight the misery I feel deep inside.

I know by being who I am I am bringing down all those around me.

B says I'm not depressed just feeling sorry for myself, that must be true, I am a baby at the moment. I'm useless.

Why so low, I've had a bad few days and things have just got worse and worse until the point I am at now.

I feel my only friends are you guys but I know you all have your own lives and problems.

How do you manage to see the good things, find happiness from within, any tips let me know, only 7 weeks to another year and decisions have to be made.

Emja xx
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8 Comments to I really tried

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- deleted user (Visitor)
- 2009-11-14 @ 21:04:55
Hi Emma , have you consulted your GP about your depression ?
It's very understandable that you feel as you do , and that you sometimes can't see anything positive to mitigate the awful relentless misery .
Try to temporarily distract yourself from it by doing , watching , listening to whatever , and , you may be on anti-depressants , but if you've not consulted you GP about your depression recently I would if I were you , as he or she may be able to think of something else which may take the edge off of it more effectively .
I know there are no easy answers at the moment , and I think you manage very well under the circumstances , and please don't ever feel that you are overburdening your blog-friends by telling us honestly how you feel .
It's good to do that , then try to take your mind off it if you can ,
Take Care , with Love , Martin -xxx- .
- - emja69 ^Pro
  - 2009-11-14 @ 21:13:21
  Martin
  That is so lovely, I only wish you could be here so i could have a good cry xxx and a mega hug.
  
  I will take your advise and speak to my gp and try to distract myself.
  
  Thanks Martin xxx
  - - deleted user (Visitor)
    - 2009-11-14 @ 22:08:37
    Oh , Thanks Emz , I'm not good for much but I do give good hugs !
    Please keep posting here and letting us know how you are ,
    with Warmest Good Wishes , Martin -xxx- .
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- - emja69 ^Pro
  - 2009-11-18 @ 00:28:49
  Martin
  Where have you gone? Are you ok?
  
  Emja xxx
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- boredrich
- 2009-11-14 @ 21:17:21
Hiya you have to see the good things in life I know it isnt easy I know because I have been in that place you are in I have been there looking in the mirror at the useless lump that was gazing back at me It is awfully hard to pull yourself out of it but it can happen and sure the GP can help but you have to have a reason and a point and what did it for me was watching children in Need I know this sounds sort of sick and kinda wierd but its true some of the clips on that show just kicked me into touch these kids have been through hell, done amazing things and to see one of them with a smile melts your heart It made me want to be more like them more positive and to make a difference they help me through and I will be watching in a couple of weeks when it is on I know what you feel like and honestly you are not alone you are never alone we are all here and we will listen and help if we can always HUGS
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- Ischbel
- 2009-11-14 @ 22:27:39
Hi Em. I'm worried about you. What decisions have to be made? Please follow advice above and see your doctor. I think you are too fragile and low to be taking big decisions and you sound perilously as I did a few weeks ago. I did go and see my GP. My problems are not solved but I have had some breathing space to tackle them. I think you are DEFINITELY depressed. You can feel so bad you feel frightened to be alive. Please take some steps to care for yourself. Also please keep letting us know how you are. I really have felt this too. Please take care Ischx
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- Barmac
- http://backpain.blog.co.uk
- 2009-11-15 @ 12:39:46
Hi Em, I agree with all of above and feel awful I've not been here for you the last couple of days but I have also been down that dark alley and knew how to help heal how I felt but its hard and I'm used to it as I've been suffering for years now but you need us to help you get through this. I agree with Ischbel that your statement on "decisions have to be made" sounds overwhelming - can we help you with this?

You are obviously depressed and I'm sure you know that but some people don't like taking medication for it but please do if you aren't already as it helps so much.

Have you thought of doing something with your hands to take your mind off things ie sewing, knitting, crafts etc. I felt so ill Friday and slept all afternoon and decided I needed to get my brain on a better level and sat with my bed covered in pieces and made 20 Christmas cards. It cleared my head and I felt so good when I had finished them. I just wish you were nearer as I would be straight over to help.

Hugs and kisses. Bar xx
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- emja69 ^Pro
- 2009-11-18 @ 00:15:54
Each day is a steep climp and still can't see the top but with your support and love and hugs at least I'm able to have a sit down, rest and chat and it really does help.

One hour at a time, one hurdle at a time, one cupcake at a time lol

You have been mega supportive, thank you
Lots and lots of love
Emja xxx
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